Thursday, May 2, 2013

It's My Birthday (ugh)

Today is my birthday, and I'm really not happy about it. I'm only 25, but it seems like I'm already at the point where birthdays become more depressing than exciting, which is really sad. I'm now halfway through my twenties, and my life is nowhere near where I was expecting it to be by now.

When I was in eighth grade, the school had a financial planner come to talk to the class. We did an exercise in which we had to plan about a decade of our lives and see how we would manage the associated costs. My plan had me finishing university by twenty-two, getting a full-time job and moving out by twenty-three, and by twenty-five I would have been well-established, living on my own, and possibly married. I may even have been planning on going to Waterloo for school, in which case I'd have moved out at 18.

The reality would probably have depressed eighth grade me. I'm twenty-five, and still in school, still living at home, and about as far from being married as I could be. Now that first bit is a little disingenuous, I suppose; I'm working on my Masters, which my initial plan didn't consider. It's also a little overly gloomy, since I'll be done my degree hopefully by the end of this year, and I'll be able to move out hopefully some time next year. It's also a far more common position than eighth grade me would have guessed; most of my friends still live at home and many are still in school for something, or are finding their degrees not particularly useful. Life just isn't as simple as you think it will be in eighth grade. Paths don't always go where you think they will, and they're rarely straight lines.

I'm also not happy about being single. As I've said before, I don't hate being single, but I'd rather not be. I'm not one of those people who has a meltdown every time they're single on their birthday because they're another year older, and they'll probably be alone forever (those people drive me nuts), but birthdays are one of the days of the year that I most appreciate being in a relationship (right up there with Christmas). This is actually only my third birthday single since I turned 18, which is pretty good, but the previous ones also feel pretty meaningless when I'm single now.

Hopefully by the time I turn 26 things will be a little brighter.

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